Well the BIG news of the week is that I got into the college I applied for transfer to - Trinity College. I am so excited!!! This has been the only thing I've talked about it since monday morning when I got the big news! I've been going on their website pretty much every day to check out dorms, activities, etc. Everything seems awesome and I'm super happy to have the real college experience - living in a dorm, getting super involved, all that! They have a Christian dance team, which is my dream! I wont be asked to put on a skanky outfit and shake it in front of a room of boys looking at me like a piece of meat. On Wed.s and Fri.s there's chapel at 10 am which is amazing. I plan on going at least once a week. Hopefully my class schedules will allow that. Also they have a women's ministry which involves small group and some other things. I don't know how powerful or big it is, but I plan to plug in and do everything I can for God's kingdom.

    I feel like this place is going to help me grow in my faith but is also going to be a really big test. Even though it is a Christian college, there are still things going on just like in any place. People get overwhelmed by temptation all the time, and that's even easier to happen when one is away from parents, the main source of our accountability.  I'm positive that I'm not going to go wild as soon as I get there (or even months down the road) and get drunk all the time or sleep around. The thought of that being my college experience gives me the shudders. However, I can predict that I will get faced with situations where I can go one of two ways, one of which being sin and the other God's will. I feel that I really have to pray for strength starting today that I will not back down in these situations and instead be an example to my fellow classmates.

    What I'm also really praying for is that my work will be able to transfer me to a location close to school so I won't have to leave the company. I've been with Aldo Shoes for a little over half a year now and they've helped me grow, learn and really get involved in the retail business. I've made serious bonds with the girls I work with (none of them are christian but we're working on it!!!) and I have a ton of input on the way the store is run. The mall I work at now is one of the most exclusive in the nation and because of that I have a lot of experience with high-end clients. There is a high-end outdoor mall thats 20 minutes away from Trinity and it would be perfect if I got to work there also because my best friend works in her mom's drapery store that's across the street! My manager sent my stats and request to the district corp. manager and so far things are looking pretty good!

    I move in Aug. 22nd and classes start the 27th. It's a radical change from living all my life under the wing of my well-to-do parents who could take care of any mess I got myself into (and I got into a lot!). There will be trials, there will be temptations and times where I will sit down by myself in a corner somewhere and cry that I want my mommy. However, I feel that by being kind of thrown into responsible, adult life I can mature faster and learn to take care of myself (something that needs to happen before I get married!!!). I know already I'm going to make some amazing friends for life. There will also be guys involved, I bet, because they're always involved if I'm around. Sigh. However, thats one area I really am not focusing on right now. I know God will send me my husband when the time is right.

    Well, that's about it. : ). I'm starting to read Ezekiel and am loving it!

this was said during a sermon on marriage, but its totally applicable in other things, like our relationship with God


"the authenticity of the desire is measured in the intensity of the pursuit." - joel stockstill

something that was on my heart and i felt like i needed to get out in writing...well here it is!

Flirting is a game for fools, I say
When you still forget my name
Before you say another word, know this-
I’m not a girl for games.
Before I used to think like you, that it was just all fun
But boy, too many of my pearls were cast to pigs
I barely managed to escape with what I have
And now I hold it close.

I see sex as a fools gold, unless you have a ring
It shines like the fake crystal at a dollar store -
And if you want to get with me you’d better know
I’ve always hated cheaper things.
So if that’s all you want you’d better go
Or you wont leave or I’ll burn you with a fire you’ve never seen before
You tried to sing me lies and prey on me,
But I see right through your ugly mask and am not scared to show you the door.

So consider this a warning not to try your tricks with me.
I’ve been tried and I’ve been tricked and I am tired.
I don’t want your kisses or your petty, gorgeous words
If all that stands behind them is the empty air we breathe
Then save your breath and maybe pray a little
Don’t get me wrong, if you make me yours I’ll never leave.
But until then,
Until then my friend,
Your dark and stormy eyes won’t have the effect you wish.
I’m a lady, but a lioness inside, I am the things of which you dream
But to unlock me, my maze of love and tangled curls
Take me all, or leave and don’t forget to tell your friends what I am,
Not what I seemed.